Crimine: Criminal Nerd Game Enjoyment, 1st degree; Wife Negligence, second degree.
Location: Husband Crime Lair
Discription: Suspect caught red-handed playing with his weird little Magic cards when his wife is right here waiting to watch some Dr Who on Netflix Instant, hopefully where the Doctor's shirt comes off again.
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Suspect is only allowed Magic cards featuring ladies with big boobs; Dr Who marathon if victim gets tired of Dragon Age II over the weekend. Co-defendent released as he is outside of wife's jurisdiction.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Got sick
Crime: Sickness, Class B; Making Wife Worry, Class A
Location: Husband Crime Country
Description: Husband (the accused) contracted a non-life-threatening yet serious illness, causing Wife (the victim) to question his life choices and worry. Of particular concern is his diet, vitamins and minerals, and his apparent no-effort weight loss. This also distracts Husband (the accused) from his normal pattern of thoughts which should be of delightful presents for Wife (the victim.)
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Husband is to spend thirty (30) days, or the duration of his illness as time served fending concerns over whether he is living his life properly and eating like a civilized human being. Husband is also sentenced to feel guilt over making Wife worry terribly.
Location: Husband Crime Country
Description: Husband (the accused) contracted a non-life-threatening yet serious illness, causing Wife (the victim) to question his life choices and worry. Of particular concern is his diet, vitamins and minerals, and his apparent no-effort weight loss. This also distracts Husband (the accused) from his normal pattern of thoughts which should be of delightful presents for Wife (the victim.)
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Husband is to spend thirty (30) days, or the duration of his illness as time served fending concerns over whether he is living his life properly and eating like a civilized human being. Husband is also sentenced to feel guilt over making Wife worry terribly.
Gratification Delayment
Crime: Gratification Delayment in the First Degree; Allowing food to cool below 150 degrees before eating; Criminal interference with wife eating.
Location: Movie Theater, Husband Crime Seat sub-sector
Discription: Husband was provided with a one (1) medium popcorn and soda by wife; Husband did not eat said popcorn during the previews, instead saving it for when the movie actually began, by which time it was not hot, since there were 35 minutes of annoying ads before the movie started.
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Popcorn eaten. Suspect has been judged incapable of managing his own popcorn supply, which will now be in the hands of the state designated popcorn control officer (wife).
Location: Movie Theater, Husband Crime Seat sub-sector
Discription: Husband was provided with a one (1) medium popcorn and soda by wife; Husband did not eat said popcorn during the previews, instead saving it for when the movie actually began, by which time it was not hot, since there were 35 minutes of annoying ads before the movie started.
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Popcorn eaten. Suspect has been judged incapable of managing his own popcorn supply, which will now be in the hands of the state designated popcorn control officer (wife).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)