Licked Tip of Nose

Crime: Nose Moistening with Intent to Gross Out

Location: Multiple

Description: Suspect has been known to go in for kiss, only to deceitfully lick tip of Victim's nose. Victim responses with "Ewww..." and wipes nose on Suspect.

Verdict: Initially Guilty, overturned on Appeal. Victim was found on Appeal to actually smile and giggle, and say she found it "cute."

Sentence: None (Acquitted)

Passed Up Parking Space

Crime: Parking Avoidance, Class 3 (1 class per space)

Location: Husband Crime Food Depository

Description: Suspect was observed passing a minimum of three parking meters until he found a suitable parking space. Victim was forced to walk an extra 30 feet to location. Suspect pleaded that parallel parking is generally an "assload of problems."

Verdict: Guilty

Sentence: Poked in side quite hard

Not hearing wife return

Crime: Criminal Wife Arrival Ignorance
Location: Husband Crime Stronghold
Discription: Victim went to the gas station to get vital supplies. Suspect, upon her return, was ensconed in his crime lair on the second floor with his loud AC on wearing his headphones when victim returned. Suspect somehow did not hear victim's return and cries for attention.
Verdict: Guilty.
Sentence: Headphones taken; Gas-station cookie privlidges revoked.