Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hot Dogs & Monster Movies Request

Crime: Forcible Driving Against Will, Class 1 / Improper Clever Joke Implementation, Class 3
Location: Husband Crime Lair
Description: Victim allegedly had idea for fun get-together: hot dogs and monster movies. Victim, on travelling to suspect's home after work, realized she had forgotten said hot dogs and monster movies. She called Suspect and informed him that she had forgotten both sources of agreed fun for evening. Suspect, without conscience or empathy, allegedly demanded that she go get them at great expense and threat of puppy dog face, and that this trip would resemble passing through Himalayan canyon during blizzard.

Suspect denies this and claims he asked her very politely and would not mind waiting the additional time to retrieve said items. Suspect also reminded Victim that Hot Dog/Monster Movie Night was Victim's idea, thereby perpetrating the myth that it's always the Victim's fault.

Victim arrived at Husband Crime Lair in a state of crankiness and surliness. This was exacerbated by the Suspect also pretending Victim was a prank caller when she phoned him on arrival.

Verdict: Guilty with Extenuating Circumstances
Sentence: Cuddling and Back-rub


Monday, June 13, 2011

Not Seeing Crappy Movie in 3D

Crime: Suspect did not want to see movie he did not want to already see in motherfucking 3D.
Location: Hollywood, CA or wherever
Description: Suspect is charged with not wanting to see lame movie he originally had no interest in, and also did not want to see it in 3D, which is a stupid movie gimmick that accurately simulates having an anuryistic headache for 2 hours.
Verdict: History's Greatest Monster
Sentence: Tim Minchin Video (in full)