Location: Husband Crime Multimedia Complex
Description: Suspect, in an act that will live in infamy, tricked Victim into seeing "The Thin Red Line" at a local arthouse theater. Victim became fidgety at 2 hr 20 min mark and commented repeatedly after that it should've been "45 mins shorter" and "who's that guy again?" and "who's doing the voice-over?" Suspect then committed war crime by asking if she would've liked the movie more if Goldie Hawn showed up and talked about her vagina around a campfire.
Verdict: Guilty
Sentence: Must see Harry Potter in OMNISUPERMAX Mega-Ultra 3D.
It was at the 2:00 mark...and all movies should end when I jump up and yell, "We get it already!"...Oh, and Goldie Hawn hasn't led anything in 20 years.
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