Location: Social Function
Description: Victim suddenly and unannounced placed her full body weight on a dead drop on suspect's crouched knee while fixing her shoe during a group photo. Suspect, in full non-violation of the law of gravity, was unable to maintain stability of said knee. Victim fell a full 18" to ground on her bottom in view of more than 7 individuals AND while wearing a nice outfit, constituting a Husband Felony in the 1st degree.
Verdict: Oh, so guilty
Sentence: Constant grumblings of "You think I'm fat, don't you?! Is that it?!" for the entire evening.
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