Playing XBL

Crime: Suspect played video games on a regular, but not hermetic, basis.

Location: The bowels of XBox Live

Description: Suspect played Halo 3 with other human beings online and did not call them "fags" or "gay" or "gayfags" or "fag-gays". Did not win match. Also did not acknowledge victim for up to 1 whole hour.

Verdict: Guilty

Sentence: Divorced (is not a real man)